The first chapter of "All the Shit I Wish I Knew in High School" introduces the book as a guide for young men dealing with common but often unspoken challenges during their teenage years. The author, Tom Borak, acknowledges the anxiety and uncertainty many teens feel about their future, relationships, masculinity, and societal expectations. Instead of providing strict answers, the book aims to spark open conversations about these topics. It is framed as a set of letters initially written to the author's younger self, later shifted to his nephew, Ivan, in hopes that others might also find valuable insights.

Key themes include:

• Addressing common insecurities (life goals, relationships, masculinity).

• Offering reassurance and guidance without judgment.

• Encouraging discussions among peers and with parents.

• Emphasizing that everyone's path is unique and influenced by uncontrollable factors but can still lead to success and fulfillment.

This chapter sets the tone for an informal, relatable, and conversational approach, emphasizing shared experiences and learning from hindsight.

Chapter 2 of "All the Shit I Wish I Knew in High School," explores the complex and personal question of what it means to be a man.

The chapter emphasizes that manhood is not simply defined by physical traits or traditional milestones like having sex, drinking, or showing strength. Instead, Tom argues that being a man involves developing one's own understanding of masculinity, influenced but not dictated by societal expectations, culture, or upbringing.

Key points include:

• The distinction between being male, being masculine, and being a man.

• Manhood is often shaped by family, culture, and society but ultimately must be defined by the individual.

• A "manly" person isn't someone who conforms to stereotypes of toughness or emotional suppression but someone who has a strong sense of character and moral conviction.

• Tom illustrates the flexibility of manhood by sharing a list of contrasting traits—some traditionally seen as masculine, some not—all of which describe his own experiences at different points in life.

• Ultimately, manhood is about embracing who you are, making choices based on your personal values, and learning to accept your own unique identity.

The chapter encourages Ivan (and the reader) to embrace their own journey, challenges, and mistakes as part of their evolving understanding of manhood.

Chapter 3 of "All the Shit I Wish I Knew in High School," introduces the idea that many people construct false narratives about themselves to cope with fear, insecurity, and emotional vulnerability. Tom calls these false narratives "lies" and compares them to armor that people wear to protect themselves from being truly exposed.

Key points:

• Self-deception: People tell themselves lies to fit into societal expectations or to avoid facing difficult truths about their own weaknesses and insecurities.

• Armor analogy: This "armor" helps people feel safe but also traps them, making it difficult to express their true selves. The lies people create serve to shield them from emotional discomfort, but over time, this armor becomes a hindrance to authentic growth.

• Peer pressure: Tom shares a story from his high school baseball days to illustrate how people are pressured into maintaining false personas, sometimes with embarrassing or painful consequences.

• Religion and belief systems: Tom touches on how beliefs, including religious ones, can be another form of armor. While holding beliefs is important, he warns against rigidly defending them to the exclusion of others, as this can lead to conflict.

• Challenge for self-growth: The section ends by encouraging Ivan to question his beliefs, as well as to open his mind to new perspectives. Tom emphasizes the value of constantly re-evaluating one’s beliefs as a way to grow.

In this letter, Tom addresses a common lie that men are often told: "Real men don’t cry." This message, deeply embedded in cultural expectations of masculinity, teaches men to hide their emotions and suppress vulnerability. He reflects on how this idea is damaging and unhealthy, encouraging Ivan to recognize that crying and expressing emotions are natural and necessary for mental and emotional well-being.

Key Points:

1. The Lie of Masculinity: Society teaches men that showing emotions, especially crying, is a sign of weakness. This belief is reinforced by cultural norms that expect men to be stoic and hide vulnerability.

2. Crying as Emotional Release: Crying is framed as a healthy emotional release, likened to a pressure valve. Just like releasing physical pain or discomfort, crying provides relief from emotional buildup. Tom encourages Ivan to find a safe space to cry or a trusted person to unload emotions on.

3. Toxicity of Bottling Emotions: The suppression of emotions can lead to harmful behaviors such as lashing out at loved ones, bullying, and even self-harm. Bottling up feelings creates a toxic internal environment, weighing down individuals emotionally.

4. Empathy and Connection: Crying is also a sign of empathy. Tom talks about how seeing others in emotional distress often triggers his own tears, showing how shared emotional experiences can create deeper connections between people.

5. Cultural Norms and the Impact on Mental Health: Tom argues that societal pressure to avoid emotional expression contributes to poor mental health among men. The author highlights the importance of working through emotions, not suppressing them.

6. Encouragement to Embrace Vulnerability: The letter ends with a strong message that real men DO cry. Tom challenges the reader to embrace vulnerability and understand that expressing emotions is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Chapter 5 of "All the Shit I Wish I Knew in High School," addresses the lie that who you are right now defines who you will be for the rest of your life. This belief is considered one of the most damaging because it leads to a fixed mindset that stifles personal growth and change. Tom emphasizes that, especially at a young age, our understanding of ourselves and the world is still evolving, and what matters most is recognizing the potential for growth and reinvention throughout life.

Key Points:

1. Youth and Development: Tom points out that at the age of 15 or 16, you are still at the early stages of life, and your brain hasn’t fully developed yet. Therefore, who you are now is not set in stone, and you will experience a significant evolution in thoughts, beliefs, and understanding over time.

2. Self-Perception and Fear of Judgment: Tom shares personal anecdotes about feeling self-conscious about physical appearance and how we often lie to ourselves to hide perceived flaws. The fear of being judged by others leads to hiding aspects of our true selves, which contributes to emotional distress.

3. Sexual Identity and Struggles with Acceptance: Tom talks about friends who struggled with their sexual identity, illustrating how fear of judgment or rejection can prevent people from being honest about who they are. This struggle is a powerful example of how people hide behind lies or half-truths to protect themselves from potential backlash.

4. The Importance of Growth and Change: Tom emphasizes that change is a constant part of life. Who you are now does not determine your future, and you have the opportunity to reinvent yourself multiple times. He encourages Ivan to embrace the journey of self-discovery and reject the notion that current circumstances define one’s entire life.

In this letter, Tom addresses the misconception that one should have their life completely figured out by a certain age. He emphasizes that this belief is a lie that leads to unnecessary pressure, anxiety, and fear of failure.

Key Points:

1. No Fixed Timeline for Success: Tom reflects on his own early ambitions and how he believed he would have everything figured out by his mid-20s. However, reality did not match his expectations. He emphasizes that it’s normal not to have life completely figured out by a certain age.

2. The Fear of the Unknown: Tom shares how fear of the unknown led him to create an elaborate life plan that didn’t pan out. He realized, however, that not knowing what comes next is part of the adventure of life.

3. Failure and Learning: Failure is an important part of learning and growth. Tom shares personal anecdotes, including his friend Erik, who planned his life around becoming a doctor but discovered that his fear of blood made it impossible. Erik eventually found a new, fulfilling path. The author highlights that failures often lead to new opportunities.

4. Trying New Things: Tom stresses the importance of trying new activities, even if there’s a fear of failure. He recounts his own experience of learning snowboarding, where initial embarrassment and mistakes were part of the journey to mastering a new skill. He encourages Ivan to take risks and not to be afraid of looking foolish when trying something new.

5. The Value of Persistence: The author shares a story about his persistence in learning Olympic weightlifting, despite an embarrassing early failure. This persistence led him to eventually win state championships and coach others. He uses this story to illustrate how persistence through failure can lead to great success.

6. Flexibility in Career and Life: Tom advises that it’s okay not to have a fixed career path. He gives examples of friends who found success in unexpected fields by remaining open to new opportunities. He emphasizes that it’s normal to change career paths and explore different interests as life unfolds.

In chapter 7 of "All the Shit I Wish I Knew in High School," Tom challenges the belief that failure is the end or final verdict on one’s abilities and potential. Instead, he emphasizes that failure is a natural and essential part of life that offers valuable lessons and opportunities for growth.

Key Points:

1. Inevitable Failure: Tom starts by bluntly telling Ivan that failure is inevitable. He acknowledges the fear and frustration that come with failure but emphasizes that it’s an unavoidable part of life.

2. Learning from Failure: Failure should not be seen as the end, but as a steppingstone toward improvement. Tom explains that failures offer critical learning opportunities that equip individuals for future successes. He uses examples of famous individuals like Walt Disney and Jay-Z, who faced repeated failures but ultimately became incredibly successful.

3. Failure in Perspective: Tom highlights that failure is often a matter of perspective. One person might view a B+ as a failure while someone else might see it as a success. He stresses the importance of setting personal goals and understanding that everyone’s version of failure or success is different.

4. Failure in Relationships: Tom touches on how failure occurs in relationships, including marriage, when individuals prioritize other things over their relationship. He explains that what some may call a “sacrifice” is actually a choice about what one values more.

5. Failure as a Steppingstone: Tom reminds Ivan that failure is not the end of the journey but a crucial part of it. He emphasizes that failure is just the end of a chapter, not the end of the book. It’s important to push forward, learn from the experience, and use that knowledge to improve in the future.

In this chapter, Tom addresses the common misconception that money is the ultimate key to happiness. He reflects on his own experiences growing up in a financially modest household and explains how this shaped his understanding of happiness and wealth.

Key Points:

1. Money and Happiness Myth: As a teenager, Tom fantasized about being rich, thinking that money would make him popular and happy. However, as he grew older, he realized that money alone doesn’t bring happiness. He now sees that happiness is derived from personal fulfillment, relationships, and purpose, not wealth.

2. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: Tom introduces Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, explaining how money helps satisfy basic needs such as food, shelter, and security. Beyond these fundamental needs, he argues, money doesn’t significantly increase happiness. The higher levels of the hierarchy, which include psychological needs (relationships, self-esteem) and self-actualization, are not dependent on wealth.

3. Simplicity and Fulfillment: Tom shares that some of the happiest people he’s met live simple lives, focusing on family, friends, and meaningful experiences. He contrasts this with the lives of wealthy individuals who, despite having everything they could want, often chase more money out of fear or dissatisfaction.

4. Self-Actualization and Purpose: Tom highlights that true happiness comes from pursuing one’s passions, talents, and purpose. He emphasizes that self-actualization—reaching one’s full potential—is the ultimate goal in life, and it’s something money cannot buy.

In this chapter, Tom addresses the misconception that having more friends automatically means a better or more successful social life. He explains the difference between acquaintances, casual friends, and good friends, and emphasizes the importance of nurturing deep and meaningful relationships over quantity.

Key Points:

1. Friendships Change Over Time: Tom explains that as life progresses and responsibilities increase, the number of close friends tends to decrease. The high school or college years might include a larger circle of good friends, but as work, family, and other commitments take precedence, maintaining friendships requires more effort.

2. Quality Over Quantity: Tom advises Ivan that the number of friends one has does not matter as much as the quality of those friendships. A few strong, dependable friendships are far more valuable than a large number of shallow acquaintances.

3. Friendship and Reputation: Tom warns about the impact that friends can have on your reputation and values. He stresses the importance of surrounding yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be, and avoiding those whose behavior or values clash with your own.

4. Loyalty and Betrayal: Tom shares personal stories of friends who let him down and betrayed his trust, illustrating the painful lessons that come with friendships that aren’t based on mutual respect and loyalty. These experiences teach Ivan the importance of carefully selecting friends who genuinely care.

In this chapter, Tom debunks the lie that people are inherently special simply because of who they are. He emphasizes that while we may be special to a small group of loved ones, in the grander scheme of life, most people are not particularly unique or deserving of special treatment. The chapter encourages humility and finding happiness by focusing on personal growth rather than seeking external validation of one’s “specialness.”

Key Points:

1. The Illusion of Being Special: Tom explains that very few people will think of us as special. The world doesn’t revolve around any one individual, and expecting others to treat us as special often leads to disappointment.

2. Pursuit of Specialness: Tom explains that striving to be recognized as special can lead to dissatisfaction and loneliness. Even those who achieve fame or greatness, such as professional athletes and musicians, often suffer from the pressure of maintaining their status, which can lead to financial and emotional struggles.

3. The Dangers of Expecting Special Treatment: Tom delves into how expecting to be special can result in disappointment and frustration when reality doesn’t meet those expectations.

4. Happiness and Fulfillment: Tom encourages Ivan to stop chasing the idea of being special and instead focus on living a balanced life, enjoying the present, and pursuing personal fulfillment. He explains that true happiness comes from within, through self-acceptance and gratitude, rather than from external achievements or recognition.

5. Gratitude as a Path to Contentment: Tom emphasizes the importance of gratitude, explaining that appreciating the little things in life can lead to greater happiness than constantly seeking validation or special status. He urges Ivan to practice gratitude daily as a way to combat feelings of envy or dissatisfaction.

Tom tackles the complex and often misunderstood topics of sex and pornography. He reflects on his personal experiences and offers guidance on how to approach sex in a healthy and realistic way, while debunking many myths perpetuated by pornography and societal pressure.

Key Points:

1. Curiosity About Sex: Tom shares stories from his childhood and early experiences with learning about sex, pointing out how confusing and misleading early sources of information can be. He emphasizes that it’s normal for young people to be curious about sex, but that accurate knowledge is crucial.

2. Masturbation and Exploration: Tom discusses masturbation as a natural and healthy part of sexual development. He normalizes the experience, urging Ivan not to feel shame about it, while cautioning against using pornography as a guide to real sex.

3. The Reality of Pornography: Tom explains how pornography creates unrealistic expectations about sex, particularly about how women behave and the physical aspects of sex. Tom likens porn to professional wrestling—while it involves real people, it’s staged and far from the reality of what true intimacy looks like.

4. First-Time Sex: Tom prepares Ivan for the reality of having sex for the first time, explaining that it’s often awkward and imperfect. He shares his own first sexual experience to highlight that anxiety and performance issues are normal, and that practice and communication are key to improving over time.

5. Healthy Relationships and Emotional Consequences: Tom emphasizes the importance of emotional readiness before having sex. He cautions against rushing into sexual relationships, especially out of peer pressure or convenience, and stresses that sex should be about mutual respect, love, and emotional connection.

6. Love and Emotional Intimacy: The chapter concludes with Tom’s thoughts on love, encouraging Ivan to seek relationships where emotional intimacy is the foundation of sex. He shares his own growth in understanding that true fulfillment in sex comes from love, not casual encounters.

In this chapter, Tom explores the multifaceted nature of love, explaining that it is far more complex than romantic or physical attraction. He emphasizes that love exists in many forms and that understanding these different forms can help navigate relationships and life more effectively.

Key Points:

1. Complexity of Love: Love is described as a deeply layered emotion that can manifest in various forms, often confused with emotions and feelings like fear, anger, or pain. Love can drive actions that seem heroic or protective and is not limited to romantic contexts.

2. Playful Love and Ludus: Tom explains ludus as playful or flirtatious love, often experienced in childhood or young relationships. He explains that it can remain present throughout your life, while in the presence of good company and doing something fun.

3. Romantic Relationships and Eros: Tom discusses the passionate phase of love, eros, which is exciting but temporary. He encourages Ivan to embrace dating and enjoy the thrill of new relationships but to understand that eros alone is not sustainable for long-term happiness.

4. Pragma and Long-Term Love: Pragma represents a more enduring, practical love that requires effort and commitment. Tom explains that successful long-term relationships rely on shared values, friendship, and mutual respect, rather than just passion.

5. Friendship and Philia: Tom highlights the value of deep, loyal friendships. These relationships are essential for emotional support and personal growth, and they often outlast romantic relationships.

6. Agape and Empathy: Tom encourages cultivating agape, or selfless love, by practicing empathy and helping others without expecting anything in return. This form of love fosters a sense of community and connection with all people.

7. The Importance of Self-Love (Philautia): Tom emphasizes that self-love is foundational to all other forms of love. Without self-acceptance and confidence, it’s difficult to maintain healthy relationships with others. Tom advises Ivan to embrace his flaws and to stop letting insecurities affect his self-worth.

8. What Love is NOT: Tom closes the letter with a reminder that saying "I love you," should never be used to bully anyone into sex. He also warns against seeking love and validation in dangerous places, like gangs.

In this chapter, Tom shares his personal experiences with both being bullied and becoming a bully, offering a deep reflection on the psychological impact bullying has on individuals. He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and personal growth in overcoming these difficult experiences.

Key Points:

1. Tom’s Experience as a Victim of Bullying: Tom recalls the seventh grade as the darkest time in his life. As the new kid in school, he struggled with self-esteem and fitting in, making him a target for bullies. He describes how two boys emotionally and physically bullied him, leading to feelings of helplessness, loneliness, and shame. Tom reflects on the psychological toll bullying took on him, including his attempts to hide the bullying from his family and the fear it instilled in him.

2. The Psychological Power of Bullies: Tom emphasizes that bullying is primarily psychological, as bullies often rely on mental and emotional abuse to assert dominance over their victims. He explains that the fear and self-doubt planted by bullies can be more damaging than the physical aspect of bullying.

3. Transition from Victim to Bully: Despite his experience as a victim, Tom admits that he later became a bully during his senior year of high school. With newfound confidence and social status, he targeted a younger student. Tom reflects on the deep remorse he feels for his actions and explains that his bullying stemmed from his own insecurities and a desire to assert power.

4. A Call for Self-Reflection: Tom encourages readers to examine their own behavior and relationships to see whether they may be acting as bullies, even unintentionally. He underscores the importance of addressing personal insecurities rather than projecting them onto others through bullying.

5. The Consequences of Bullying and Finding Strength: The chapter ends with a message of hope for those who are currently being bullied. Tom emphasizes that bullying is often a reflection of the bully’s own fears and insecurities, and that victims can emerge from these experiences stronger and more compassionate. He urges those being bullied to seek help and reminds them that life extends far beyond the difficult years of high school.

Tom candidly discusses the pressures and dangers surrounding drugs and alcohol, especially for young people. He reflects on his own experiences with substance use and the lessons he learned, offering Ivan advice about making informed decisions regarding these substances.

Key Points:

1. Personal Experience and Pressure: Tom shares how difficult it was to navigate conversations about drugs and alcohol with his mother during his teenage years. He recalls feeling uncomfortable and resistant to her advice, as many young people do when confronted with adult concerns.

2. Peer Pressure: Tom acknowledges that peer pressure is inevitable, whether it comes from friends, teammates, or social situations. He shares how he faced pressure from his baseball teammates to drink but often avoided it by using his parents' disapproval as an excuse.

3. First Experience with Alcohol: Tom recalls getting drunk for the first time the summer after high school. While it felt rebellious at the time, the experience resulted in a painful hangover and the realization that the temporary fun wasn’t worth the consequences.

4. College Drinking and Dangerous Situations: Tom reflects on his college years, where he drank regularly and found himself in dangerous situations, including getting into a car with a drunk driver and witnessing his roommate experience alcohol poisoning. These experiences were wake-up calls that made him more cautious about his drinking habits.

5. Drugs and Experimentation: While Tom admits to trying marijuana and other substances, he stresses the importance of being cautious and aware of the potential risks. He highlights how different substances affect individuals differently and encourages those who do choose to experiment to do it in a safe environment.

6. The Danger of Opiates: Tom talks about his experience with prescription painkillers after surgeries and how quickly addiction can take hold. He urges Ivan to stay away from opiates and other addictive drugs, emphasizing that addiction can destroy lives.

7. Importance of Maturity: Tom advises Ivan to wait until he is older and more mature before experimenting with drugs or alcohol. He suggests that making decisions about substance use from a more informed and developed perspective will lead to safer and smarter choices.

8. The Role of Parents: Tom encourages Ivan to talk openly with his parents about their own experiences with drugs and alcohol. He believes that these conversations can lead to greater understanding and help young people make better decisions.

Tom reflects on his years as a strength and nutrition coach, emphasizing the importance of physical fitness for mental, emotional, and physical health. He stresses that building strength is essential not just for athletics or appearance but for long-term health and resilience.

Key Points:

1. The Importance of Strength: Tom encourages Ivan to start strength training at a young age, explaining that early training helps develop movement patterns and builds a foundation for lifelong fitness. He notes that once you build strength, it’s easier to maintain or regain it later in life.

2. Resilience and Health: Strong people, Tom says, are harder to kill—both literally and figuratively. He explains how strength training builds resilience against injury and illness by improving bone density, coordination, and immune response. He also highlights that strength training helps manage stress and emotions, making it a healthy outlet for frustrations.

3. Common Misconceptions: Tom shares his own early misunderstandings about fitness, such as fearing that lifting weights would make him too bulky and inflexible. He explains how, without proper guidance, he avoided weight training for years, only to discover later how essential it is for functional strength.

4. Balance in Strength Training: Tom emphasizes the importance of balanced training, focusing on the posterior chain (back, glutes, hamstrings) rather than just the "mirror muscles" (chest, biceps, abs). This balanced approach leads to functional strength that helps in real-life situations.

5. Overcoming Mental Barriers: Tom addresses the mental hurdles that stop people from pursuing fitness, reminding Ivan that physical limitations can be overcome with determination. He shares inspiring stories of athletes with disabilities achieving incredible strength.

6. Enjoying Fitness: Tom closes by advising Ivan to find physical activities that he enjoys. Whether it's weightlifting, yoga, or swimming, the best exercise routine is the one that brings joy and can be maintained over time.

Tom emphasizes the importance of nutrition, stating that no amount of exercise can offset a poor diet. He shares his experiences and advice to help Ivan understand basic nutrition and how food choices impact health and fitness.

Key Points:

1. Nutrition and Body Composition: What you eat plays a major role in shaping your body. While exercise is important, nutrition is the key to achieving desired physical outcomes.

2. Diet Misconceptions: Tom clarifies that "diet" doesn’t necessarily mean weight loss but refers to the food you consume. Your diet should be balanced to meet your personal goals, whether that's gaining or losing weight.

3. Calorie Intake: Tom explains that a calorie is simply a measure of energy, and each person’s calorie needs differ. He stresses the importance of matching your food intake with your energy expenditure.

4. Macronutrients: Tom breaks down the three main macronutrients: carbohydrates, proteins, and fats, and explains their roles in the body. He encourages Ivan to focus on whole foods and avoid excessive processed carbohydrates and sugars.

5. Fat Misunderstanding: Fat is often wrongly demonized. Tom explains that fats are essential, especially for brain and heart function, and should come from healthy sources like butter, coconut oil, and olive oil.

6. Simple Nutrition Guidelines: He shares Michael Pollan’s advice, "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants," as a simple but effective approach to healthy eating.

Tom shares his thoughts on school, including his struggles with certain subjects and the importance of recognizing and honing natural gifts to succeed.

Key Points:

1. Focus on Your Strengths: Tom encourages Ivan to focus on subjects he enjoys and excels in, advising him to develop his natural talents. He explains that even those with natural gifts must work hard to hone their abilities for success.

2. Natural Talents vs. Effort: Tom contrasts his own intuitive ability in music with his friend Chuckie’s technical mastery, noting that natural ability alone is not enough—dedication and effort are required to reach one’s full potential.

3. The Value of a High School Diploma: While Tom struggled in subjects like math, he stresses the importance of graduating high school, as the diploma opens doors and demonstrates persistence. He advises Ivan to push through difficult subjects to achieve this milestone.

4. Career Paths Are Not Linear: Tom emphasizes that career paths are rarely straightforward, and success often requires detours. He shares how his talents in writing and language eventually led him to a career in marketing, even though he didn’t originally plan for it.

5. College vs. Trade Skills: Tom explains that not everyone needs to go to college to succeed, particularly if they have hands-on skills suited for trades like carpentry or plumbing. He advises Ivan to consider his strengths and interests when deciding whether college is necessary for his future.

6. School as a Springboard: Ultimately, Tom advises Ivan to take high school seriously, as it provides a broad foundation of knowledge and presents opportunities. Even if some classes feel irrelevant, completing high school is an essential step toward future success.

This final chapter is a reflective message from Tom to Ivan, offering wisdom about life, conflict, and perspective. Tom emphasizes that life is filled with challenges and difficult people, but these elements provide contrast, helping us appreciate the good moments and people. He encourages Ivan to accept that everyone, at some point, will be difficult or flawed, and that life’s conflicts often arise from differences in perspective.

Tom urges Ivan to develop critical thinking skills, encouraging him to view situations from multiple angles and to avoid taking anything at face value.

Tom encourages Ivan to read widely, especially perspectives that differ from his own, and frames it as a path to greater understanding and personal growth.

The metaphor of life as a lake, where each person’s actions create ripples, is central to Tom’s final thoughts. He highlights that the impact we have on others continues beyond our lifetimes through the ripple effect of our actions. The legacy we leave is not determined by status or wealth but by the lasting influence we have on the people around us.

Tom concludes by reminding Ivan that his life’s path is his to shape, and though he may face uncertainty, love and selflessness will guide him in creating a meaningful and enduring legacy.

The "last word" is ultimately the reader's, as they chart their own journey through life.